Moving through Mothering
At 9:30p on a Tuesday evening, after hours of thoughts rambling along through my tired head, I felt a deep urge to disconnect. Babies in their beds, husband snuggling alongside the oldest, quiet appeared. Quiet for the first time all day. Peaceful quiet. Yet, the busyness in my head continued on. Connection. Disconnection. Reconnection. Questions arose from love. (A reminder of my mission to teach others and myself awareness methods to soothe the madness; to let love lead.) How best would I serve my little people tomorrow, without serving myself in the moments between days?
Without the want or need to use a mat between myself and the floor beneath my feet, I fell to the earth. Child’s pose… chair… supine twists… cat and cow. Breath became breath. Movement became movement. The flow of stagnant energy, stuck in spaces left untouched or overtouched from a day with sweet children, spilled from my body as I merged with the Universe. Movement became mothering. Mothering of self. Love of self.
A sigh of relief. Present moment awareness. Honesty. Truth. I love being a mother. Absolutely and entirely. Yet, there is little opportunity in being the caregiver to give myself the care I (and we) so truly need… unless we are creative. Unless we make room. It is impossible to make room without moving things a bit. Shifting perspectives. Integrating real life into real needs. Another sigh.
Tomorrow will be a great day because today I moved. Real needs. Yesterday, I moved with littles around and on me. Today, alone for the short while the Above gave it to me. Either way is wondrous in its own right. Creativity one day and surprising room the next. Tomorrow will be a great day because today I reflected… shifted perspective… and integrated it all. Moving through motherhood? Why yes, I am.