You must be a lotus, unfolding its petals when the sun rises in the sky, unaffected by the slush where it is born or even the water which sustains it. – Sai Baba
We are the co-creators of our Universe. While I wanted to believe that the experience I was living had been “given” to me as a lesson – and there is still a part of me that believes it was – there is greater truth in the fact that we picked each other. It’s a two-way street. I picked being sick, and sick picked living in me. On my personal path, sick was always safe. Sick meant a physical shelter from emotional pain.
Once I had my sweet baby, I wanted to feel – even if it was pain. But, as always, when my emotional body had felt enough, my cells began to harbor the hurt. And I had to accept it. Accept that my baby had been critically ill. Accept that in caring for him, I had neglected myself. Accept that we could both heal; sick can take it’s toll and then be digested. Sick can be integrated into life, and beyond living – we could thrive in it’s presence.
Reflection: Think of a time when you were sick. Could your physical body have been sending you a message?
Tool, Tip, or Technique: When I was unable to use my left leg after my back injury, I spent six months meditating on that leg. I would place my hands on it, and bring light, love, and breath to this part of my physical body that had disconnected from my whole being. The next time you don’t feel your best, connect with the part of your body that is not serving you to it’s highest ability. Thank it for what it does, did, or the lessons you are gaining from this experience. Then, ask from it what you need. Note that what you truly need may not be what you ask, and welcome any gifts you receive from this experience.