Laying here with my baby girl tonight, and thinking. When Ryker was sick and in the year(s) that followed I lost my mind. I was so anxious. It’s not something I’ve talked about much – the anxiety part, that is. I didn’t ask for help. I didn’t know I needed it. And then I had a healthy baby. I didn’t ask for help again, because (obviously) she was healthy; why did I need it?
I see folks post pictures surrounded by family and friends in every situation from NICU baby to perfectly healthy miracles. And today I think, dang. Why didn’t I need it? I let fear of contracting another virus, like the one that beat the heck out of our little boy, keep me in isolation for years.
14 months ago, I found It Works, and it brought me out of my comfort zone. If I wanted to succeed, I had to build relationships… I had to come out of isolation. So, I did. I first grew myself with strangers and folks I barely knew. And goodness gracious it was healing!!! It still is healing 💓 I am so incredibly thankful for this community that embraced and empowered me at the same time.
It sounds silly… But I lost my worth in not being able to protect my baby. I found what restored that sense of worth again was being able to provide in different areas – staying home full time, taking my kids on adventures, being a present wife and mother, putting food on our table.
Did I ever think a crazy wrap thing would lead to this? Healing?? Absolutely not. Never. I just wanted to make enough to stay home. And now, I’m working on #OperationKeepDaddyHome. I’m working on finding more time for our family. And I’m doing it with my family. I could not be more blessed. So, as I say goodbye to isolation… I say hello to the brand new life being birthed.
God is good.