Self-Sabotage Part II: Life Without A Plan

In our last post, I rattled on about The Art of Self-Sabotage, and how to (perhaps) begin becoming an intentional mom.

I wrote about this because of my personal relationship with living unintentionally.

I’ll start by sharing a bit of my uber-unintentional path, to paint a picture of what that might look like.

Life Without A Plan

When I started my work with mothers several years ago, I truly had no attachment to a greater goal. I just knew – at my very core – that I needed to work with this particular segment of society and our world (more specifically, with you). This path was more than unexpected. Having grown up without the desire for children myself, I never saw this coming. But here I am, a mother madly in love with her motherhood. And here I am sharing God’s Word, His goodness, and what I believe the Universe has in store for each of us on our mothering paths if we can only find the greatest good within. The good He has made.

But it hasn’t been a dreamy, ease-filled process. In fact, it’s been a walk-through-the-trenches-at-midnight sort of ride. I’ve had multiple businesses – from a yoga studio to direct sales distribution – and went into none of it with any sort of plan.

(Opening my coaching practice has been different, and I’m thankful to press pause on unintentional living, indefinitely!)

Are you walking your experience of motherhood, career, fitness, spiritually, personal development, finances – really any significant area of your life – without a plan, too?

Coachable

You might be without a plan, but this doesn’t mean that you’re failing life. I want to ask you a very important question today – and I only ask for your honesty in return. (I know only honesty. It’s big. But do it. You’ll thank me for it later, I promise.)

Even if you are living life without intent, are you still coachable?

Laura Probert, MPT writes in her Huffpost article, “Being coachable is one of life’s most important skills and attitudes, whether or not you’re an athlete. If you’re any kind of person who wishes to grow, learn, improve, excel or peak perform, you should care about whether or not you’re coachable. In other words, being coachable relates to a happy, productive life. It means you’re ready to do what it takes to change, transform, improve or excel, whatever that means for you and your situation.”

Let’s Reflect

Personally, this paragraph brought up some reflection – and led me to ask a few questions of our tribe! Take some time on your own to dig into these, and see what responses you come up with. It might just take your unintentionality and turn it upside down!

  • What does being “coachable” mean to you?
  • What has your experience been (thus far) of growing and developing into the person that God has created you to be? and
  • What would you like your future experience to be like?

A Deeper Dive

For those on a Spirit-led path, grab some time in Jeremiah 29. One of the most reflective verses for those of us fearing the shift from unintentional to intentional (the act of creating a plan and therefore a life we design) is verse 11: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Your future isn’t determined just by you. Let these words stay with you, as you gather all the tools and resources necessary to begin your transition to co-creating your path, your plan, and your Universe. Small shifts for your greatest good will create greater good in all. I can promise you that.

Until we meet again, may you be surrounded by So Much Love (Yours, Mine, & His) on this path.

xox

Jennifer

Feeling All The Mama Feels

Can I go Here and come back whole? I ask myself as I put my fingers to the keyboard this morning. It’s so easy to become lost in thought. Especially for a girl who hides from emotion. Or a girl who hid from emotion. A girl who doesn’t hide from feelings anymore… yet doesn’t particularly care for excessive feeling either. Still.

Perhaps, after months of write-free sabatical, and an exploration into integrative wellness from the other side of the table (as a coach-in-training), I can be Here and return into my sweet little world whole.

Let’s give it a try.

Today, I want to talk to you about these emotions I’ve been burying for years and years (and years). Today, I want to be brave enough to tell you that you are not alone if you have had big, scary emotions begin to rise up – and then you completely freaked the freak out (with or without knowing it). Today, I want to be brave enough to share this space with you. Because maybe, just maybe, if we share this space it will be easier to tell you about Jamie. And maybe it will be easier to tell you about growing into an emotional being, too.

Jamie was the first mother that I chose a relationship with shortly after becoming a mother myself. My peers didn’t have kids, especially sick ones, and I was crawling out of my skin most days pretending to be someone I wasn’t… yet. But in those conversations with Jamie – a friend and employee at my day job – I wasn’t pretending. I could tell her about the sleepless nights and the worry. She held a space for me. And in return, I held one for her. Our sons were only two weeks apart in age, and we could connect on so many different experiences. Including this one: Jamie lived with a physical dysfunction that was wreaking havoc on her life. That dysfunction took her from our beautiful world five years ago today.

That experience that we connected on has absolutely wreaked havoc on my life too. And five years ago, I had just recovered from an autoimmune crash and back injury. I was teaching yoga, contemplating leaving my job in veterinary medicine, and feeling nothing (still). My son was 20 months old, and I was completely disconnected. But on the day that Jamie passed away, I felt something for the first time since becoming a mom. I felt something real and raw and vulnerable. And it wasn’t fear – quite possibly the only thing that I had been feeling for quite some time. What I felt was one of the deepest sadnesses that I have ever known. And, home alone with my little boy when I received the news, I felt one of the deepest loves that I have ever known too. My mild child sat upon my lap as I crumbled that day. He sat upon my lap and he wiped away each and every tear that fell.

The little boy that I didn’t know how to love, loved me. I can’t put this experience into any more words than this. At least not today.

Flash forward through the next year, and slowly but surely more emotions bubbled up to the surface. And of course, one by one, I pushed them back down. When I became pregnant with our second baby, I decided immediately it should be a boy again. I was raised to believe that boys were less emotional. Which would obviously make life much easier for me!

feelings
This little boy might be the most emotional being I’ve ever met. He breaks down gender stereotypes daily. And I love it.

But alas, God’s hand placed me on a healing path – and that second miracle child ended up being a sweet (and wild) little girl. Not only did I begin to learn emotion through her, but I learned that all people have emotion through having her. Emotion isn’t just a girl or woman thing. It’s a people thing. (And it is safe to have them.) I’ve seen the emotion of a little boy learning to grow into a relationship with a lost mama bear; and then watched his emotions expand and contract as he learns to grow into relationship with a special needs sister. I’ve seen the emotion of a man who almost lost his father. I’ve seen the emotion of a child lost in her world. I’ve seen my emotions twist and turn and churn and bubble up through it all.

And while I don’t love the idea of being so hugely vulnerable as to feel all the feels all the time, I do feel a lot of feels a lot of the time now. Feels that don’t pull me down into a deep dark hole, but inspire me to lift someone else out of theirs.

How do you live in your emotional body? Does it feel good and safe to you? I would love to know.

To Jamie – thank you for being on my heart daily. You remind me always that being present means being grateful for all of the gifts that Papa has given me.

xox

Mama J.

 

Paleo Pancakes

Happy Fall, friends! I’m so excited to share with you what Miss Bliss & I spend our time on – especially on our wildest of wild days. She’s a sensory craver and seeker (with exceptions), and we find that cooking can be particularly helpful when she needs to engage in the world!

Dear Wild,

You may not remember me at my worst – for this I pray – but you will remember me at my “best”. You will remember that more often than not, I will don my apron like armour and prance around the kitchen on a cooking-high. Cooking is one of my most favorite therapies. Cooking is where I feign complete control over my wellness. It’s where I have peace and joy and fun. It’s magical. So magical, my sweet girl, that it just so happens to be where (on most days) I can be pain-free. Even on a hard and trying day, I will dig in in our kitchen. The feel of granite beneath my palms as I dust away strewn pieces of cauliflower – baby girl, it’s my zone.

I’ve been playing with recipes for some time now, and thought that today I would share one that you might enjoy cooking again one day too! I pray that you cook. I feel as though mamas miss out when they don’t sink their hands into some gluten free flour and feel the perfection of what God gives us for nourishment.

This is where we learn to pause. Sweet girl, I pray blissful pauses over your life, my wild child. The kind of pauses that make us better people.

Now, let’s chat Paleo Pancakes!

All My Love,

Mama J.

presence-and-pancakes
We must eat well, my friend! My mild and wild children have taught me this. Be nourished and you can do (almost) anything.

Grain Free, Vegan, Paleo Pancakes

  • 2 fancy Eggs (you know the type – organic, cage free, vegetarian fed…)
  • 1/3 cup each of coconut flour, tapioca flour, almond flour (replace almond for sorghum if you or your babies have food allergies – I’ll be trying these with cassava flour next!)
  • 1 tsp xantham gum
  • 1 tsp sea salt
  • vanilla coconut milk
  • optional: blueberries, apples (and cinnamon), dark vegan chocolate

Add all of the dry ingredients to a mixing bowl, and blend thoroughly. Add in eggs and enough milk to desired consistency (mama doesn’t measure – and I feel like with liquids it’s a different quantity every time anyhow). Make sure that your batter is thin, but not watery. Throw in some optional goodies – we love ours with blueberries or chocolate – and spoon batter onto a griddle or well-oiled pan! Cook until you see bubbles forming in the top of your pancake and then flip. Enjoy with organic, local maple syrup amazingness… or some honey!

Note: You can replace the eggs with Energy Egg Replacer! I was pretty impressed with the texture.

 

Motherhood + Marriage

Motherhood + Marriage

Dear Mama,

I read this post over the weekend – that has (what I feel is) a fabulous message…

When children come along, we believe that we can press pause on the soulmate narrative, because parenthood has become our new priority and religion.

If we are raw and real about where parenthood stands on our list, would we say it’s our first priority? God does say to train up a child, yes. He doesn’t say to hunker down. He doesn’t say it’s a space where two become one. (Gasp.) And that, my dear friend – it’s okay.

Being a special-child and miracle-child mama, my ambitions often get in the way of what we’ve been gifted. We have the opportunity to raise up His children. And oftentimes, this blessed wild child becomes the center of my focus. How could she not?! The everyday wildness speaks to a constant need to be on, so that – perhaps – we can live a more stable life. But is it stable if I don’t put my husband first?

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I love this picture. It captures a sensory wild child on a good day – and the profound impact that parenting can have on a marriage. She rocks life all up in our space on a daily basis!

I need him. I need my husband, because he’s my rock. It’s confusing and hard and even frowned upon to not put your miracle mild or sensory wild child first! I adore being a mother. It’s been the center of my universe these last few years – as I’ve finally embraced what life looks like as a mama bear. (It’s messy, y’all. It’s M E S S Y.) But motherhood, my parenting path, does not define me. It refines me. I want to be pressed upon to be a better person. Even if this means struggle. It grows me! But to whom will the benefit of this growth go? With God’s grace, I will care for my spouse for long after these babies depart our home. He should benefit from my growth – and not just then, but now.

I would love to hear your heart! Let’s share the ride.

Much love and peace to you and yours,

Mama J.

Divine Reality

Every so often, you dream and dream and dream… and then that dream becomes your reality. That is what the last two years have looked like. I have prayed over advocating for maternal well-being for quite some time. When my husband officially retired from full time employment in September, I knew that it was time to make that dream a reality. But I had no idea what that would look like! Then I had a flashback to my retirement from yoga studio ownership…

I love that we get to work from home. I love that I get to support an online and on-ground ministry of self-love. And I love that I can love on mama’s in my community now too – I am going to begin leading postpartum pop up yoga + support right in our town!

Six years in, I am so very sure that it takes a village of support for moms to thrive. Today, because of my non-job, I get to be on the side of “correcting culture” with movement as medicine while erasing the stigma’s attached to dis-ease (mental health). I get to set an example of living life as a successfully healing postpartum wife and mother.

P.S. I will always say healing and not healed. Because this is the journey of a lifetime. One that I know has changed me for the better in ways that I never expected. Cheers to making the most of every challenge we encounter.

Peace & Love, friends!

Jennifer

Happy New Year

Happy New Year. 2015 has only just begun, and I am already filled to the brim with excitement for what is to come. My dream of being able to give back with abandon is closer each day. I am so thankful for this journey. God is good!

My heart is racing as I post this, knowing that all of this is 100% possible – and some of it absolutely critical to living the life we love. In 2015, I will be WELL and I pray to start sharing the message of Postpartum Wellness with the masses of women who need to know they’re normal, beautiful, wonderful children of the maker Yes, ‪#‎Transformation2015‬ begins today!! I can’t wait to share the journey will y’all! -New Year Goal-Setting? Check!!

2015

Body Building

We all have baggage. Sometimes it’s emotional… Always it manifests in the physical. Imagine your cells. It isn’t just our shrinking pinky toes or the unused appendix that proves the adaptation of physical form. Your emotional response and wellness imprint in and on your body.

image

What does that really mean for the general population? Reinforced in me are the beliefs that forgiveness matters, unconditional love can heal almost anything, our highest purpose is to create and live in joy, and self-nurture absolutely counts. Especially for mothers and nurtures. This road is not easy on our bodies.

How will you serve your cells?? I’m going back to an adaptation of Crazy Sexy Diet meets Forks Over Knives. Wellness is possible. And I can do all things through Him that strengthens me.

Namaste.

Greens Reboot

I haven’t made the time to eat as well as I usually do – you know, listening to my calling and all (insert winky face here). So, this weekend is all about mama. And not in a leave-my-kids at Grammy’s doorstep kind of way! I am rebooting. Cleansing. Detoxing. Putting awesome plant goodness back into my tired lil’ body. Here’s the program… my clients have had super awesome results – as have I! What a great way to start the weekend…

The System & Supplements:
Greens – ProFit – It’s Vital – ThermoFit

  • 8am – ProFit in 8oz water (1 serving) – you may blend fresh fruit or veggies in these shakes each day / Supplements- It’s Vital, ThermoFit
  • 10am – 2 greens on the go (or 4 scoops of greens in the jar) in 16.9oz bottle of water
  • 11am – 2 greens on the go / Supplements- It’s Vital, ThermoFit
  • 1pm – ProFit
  • 3pm – 2 greens on the go / Supplements- It’s Vital, ThermoFit
  • 5pm – 2 greens on the go
  • 7pm – ProFit
  • 9pm – 2 greens on the go
  • 10pm – 2 greens on the go

The Science

Cleansing is an important part of any health regimen. Detoxification does more than clean out a digestive system; it is thought to restore your balance, refresh and maintain healthy skin and mental clarity, plus a myriad of other benefits, including better sleep, ridding the body of impurities and even reducing or eliminating pain.

Who should detoxify? Anyone who wants to improve their health. However, some health conditions require monitoring during detoxifying. Nursing or pregnant mothers should not detoxify, nor should people with certain illnesses. Check with your physician before cleansing.

To be really effective, a strict three-day diet of pure, diluted juices is best, but may be too stringent for some people. If that’s the case, try the juice diet for at least one day and then maintain the juice for breakfast and lunch and eat a light supper of low fat, high fiber, fresh and minimally processed foods. If possible, in place of normal meals, fill your stomach with broths made of juice, and eat melon. This will satisfy that empty feeling and keep you on track.

Any detox diet you follow should only be used short term. For the healthiest lifestyle, it’s essential that you take in enough calories to support your daily activities. Still, a detox can help you begin a healthier eating plan by making you feel cleaner and lighter. Once you feel your body rid itself of all those toxic chemicals, and you enjoy the benefits such as regular bowel movements, a clearer complexion and more energy, you’ll probably feel motivated to continue eating well and will be less inclined to clog your body with unhealthy foods.

The Official Reboot- Greens-on the-Go was started by Joel Dunn. He stated…. “See I was thinking about juicing (after watching Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead…everyone should watch it!!) but didn’t want to spend $400 on a juicer and get all of the stuff and then have to be around every 3 hours to juice. Then I looked at the juice recipes and though wow we have more in 2 scoops of greens than any of these juices. Dr. Don said 2 scoops, 5 times a day would be more than enough.”

  • The plan is to follow what is written above for 3 days. Many of our clients are reporting a significant weight loss.  This is only meant to cleanse and “reboot” your system. Do not use for an extended period of time!
  • You may add an extra Profit Shake to make sure you are getting enough calories and nutrients each day. If you need to, feel free to add a light dinner, but make sure you are eating clean foods.

Stress Less, Mama

Tonight, will you do something for me? With me?? Release the expectations that you have for yourself. Give them away. Hand them over to God, who will clearly advise you – if you choose to listen – that acceptance is absolutely bliss. There is nothing more perfect than to walk without guilt. Hold your head high. And as you hand your burdens over to The One who can shoulder them, smile.

Yes, smile. For even a single moment of life-joy will forever change the world.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Namaste.